God, I’m sick of the Kansas City Chiefs

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Full disclosure, I’ve never been on board with the Kansas City Chiefs. Sure, they were, for a while, the best team in America, with a young and exciting generational talent under center and a head coach who never had to answer for anything because he wears Hawaiian shirts, has a funny mustache, and struggled with masking. Sure, it was impossible to make it through a Sunday without seeing Patrick Mahomes or Travis Kelce multiple times every commercial break, but I survived the era of Aaron Rodgers’ discount double-check, so I figured I could survive this, too.

Who wins the Super Bowl next year?

Lately, though, any grace I had for the Chiefs (and their fans) has run out. And while Kansas City itself is a great town that everyone should visit (I spent a month there one weekend), the sense of entitlement, the fans refusing to give up the chop and the booing of the Black National Anthem have all begun to tarnish whatever tolerance I had for Reid and company.

We can start with Mahomes’ giant temper tantrum on national TV after yesterday’s 20-17 loss to the Bills, all because 1) the officials correctly pointed out that Kadarious Toney lined up off-sides and 2) both Mahomes and Reid believe that they are supposed to get a mulligan when that happens. They are, after all, the Chiefs.

“Usually I get a warning before something like that happens in a big game,” Reid said after the game. “A bit embarrassing in the National Football League for that to take place. I didn’t have a protractor out there, but a bit embarrassing.”

Actually, it’s much more embarrassing for the league for you to reveal to the world that you’ve been getting warnings on things that should be penalties, Andy. And do you really believe the refs owe you a “warning” and a do-over on what could be a game-winning drive after the two-minute warning? You know who never gets warnings when guys are offside? The Chicago Bears. I know because I watch them shoot themselves in the foot every week (except for yesterday!) with penalties, and so does every other fan of a team that isn’t a perennial Super Bowl contender.

Here’s what referee Carl Cheffers said in a pool report, clarifying that “no warning is required.”

“Ultimately, [players] are responsible for wherever they line up. No warning is required, especially if they are lined up so far offsides where they’re actually blocking our view of the ball. We would give them a warning if it was anywhere close but this particular one is beyond a warning.’’

Indeed. People in the nose bleeds could see how far offside Toney was and for Mahomes and Reid to stomp around, and yell and do everything but lay an egg over not getting special treatment is deeply unattractive.

Speaking of stomping around, let’s take a look at how beloved Golden Boy quarterback Mahomes handled adversity. First this:

And then this:

“Worst f***ing call I’ve ever seen.” Really, Patrick? Did you miss Calvin Johnson’s “no catch?” How about Dez Bryant’s? What about last week, when Packers’ Jonathan Owens was flagged for hitting you, Patrick, while you were still in bounds? I don’t recall you or Reid belly-aching about that one, which was actually embarrassing for the league. Go cry about it to Jake from State Farm.

All of Reid and Mahomes’ grousing ignores the extremely obvious fact that, despite having the best QB of his generation on the field, the Chiefs’ play calling looks an awful lot like the Bears’ play calling from 2018 to 2022. I wonder what the common denominator could be? (Surprise, it’s Chiefs OC Matt Nagy!)

And while we’re on the subject of overexposure, we’d be remiss if we didn’t discuss Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. A few weeks back, I yelled at everyone for blaming the Chiefs’ rough offensive play on Swift, and I stand by that. No matter who she is, she’s entitled to go watch her boyfriend play football without the rest of the world thinking she is somehow responsible for the mediocre offense. And I stand by that. But to the NFL, when it comes to Taylor and Travis, I think I speak for all of us when I say we’ve had enough. Never in my life have I seen a camera pan to a player’s girlfriend or wife every time he’s involved in a play. If Swift is bringing young women to football, great! But it’s too much at this point. I don’t care about these people nearly as much as you think I do. I don’t care that Taylor borrowed Brittany Mahomes’ red coat for the game. I don’t care that Taylor is hanging out with Donna Kelce. And I really don’t need to see Jackon Mahomes whooping it up in a skybox while charged with aggravated sexual battery. Enough.

(By the way, the restaurant where Jackson Mahomes allegedly assaulted the owner? It shut down as a result of the controversy, and Mahomes denies the allegations.)

I’m not even going to go into Kelce absolutely butchering “Fairytale of New York” and all the people that now refer to the beloved Pogues’ classic as “That Kelce Christmas Song,” because I’m not in a good enough place, mentally, to discuss it. (But here’s a video of mourners in the aisles at Shane MacGowan’s funeral last week).

Everything that once had America cheering for a team from the heartland now has us cheering for whoever plays the Chiefs, including the Buffalo Bills, for crying out loud. The Chiefs have turned into a bunch of entitled, whiny, crybabies who are in our faces every day of the week. They say you either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain and that’s exactly what’s happened to the Kansas City Chiefs.

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