Kyrie Irving shouldn’t be an All-Star because he’s literally the worst

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Kyrie Irving talks to the media.

Kyrie Irving’s first media appearance since being traded to the Dallas Mavericks was just as delusional as you might imagine. The dribbling headache said he wanted out of Brooklyn because he wants to be in a place where he’s “celebrated and not just tolerated.” That led to a feeling of disrespect, and that’s ultimately why he hit eject.

I guess my question to Irving would be: Why do you deserve to be celebrated? Other than the ballhandling, which I’m not even sure if I’m impressed by anymore, what the fuck has Irving done to merit a celebration? He hasn’t been to an NBA Finals since he left Cleveland, actively tanked his past three organizations, refused to get vaccinated, promoted some antisemitic truther video on social media, and refused to apologize until he eventually got suspended.

Here’s Irving’s whole statement because he sounds even more deranged with context.

“I just know I want to be places where I’m celebrated and not just tolerated or just kind of dealt with in a way that doesn’t make me feel respected. There were times throughout this process when I was in Brooklyn where I felt very disrespected and my talent — I work extremely hard at what I do. No one ever talks about my work ethic, though. Everyone talks about what I’m doing off the floor, so I just wanted to change that narrative, write my own story and just continue preparing in the gym, and now that I’m in Dallas, just focus on what I control.”

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Work ethic?! WORK ETHIC?! WO-RK E-THIC?!?! The guy who only played home games for half the season last year wants us to talk about all the hours he puts in.

Hey, media members, gather ‘round. We’ve done Irving a disservice. Instead of writing about the 18 gazillion problematic things he does off the court, let’s focus on how hard he works at dribbling a ball. What determination, what drive, what… a jackass.

Kyrie did what he ‘was supposed to do’ in Brooklyn

If you thought the bullshit stopped at just one quote, there are many more. That first sound bite was egregious, but wait until you read the line of logic he offered up for being at ease with how he left the Nets.

“I don’t want to go into too many details because it’s water under the bridge now. I wish them well. I left them in fourth place. I did what I was supposed to do, took care of my teammates, was incredibly selfless in my approach to leading, and I just want to do all the right things for myself — not to appease anybody that had something negative to say about me or judge me. This basketball game — just, it’s fun, and I want to keep it that way.”

I need to know why he thinks abandoning his teammates midseason was “selfless,” what he was “supposed to do,” and “leading.” Man, he really is something else.

The only person he looked out for was himself, and once he realized that the fans weren’t undying in their devotion, he changed the narrative in hopes that his next fan base has zero knowledge of the very public fuckups he’s made for the better part of a decade.

Irving is set to be celebrated — as an All-Star starter

The fact that Irving requested a trade and was dealt before the audio was edited on reaction podcasts says a lot about how the Nets viewed Irving. They couldn’t wait to ship him out, and I guarantee no one thanked him for making sure the Nets were a four-seed when he left.

I don’t know what clause Adam Silver has to evoke to prevent Irving from playing in the All-Star game, but he should find one. And if he can’t find any, make one up.

I doubt Kevin Durant will risk reinjuring his knee for an exhibition game, but after the shade he threw at James Harden after the Beard forced his way out of Brooklyn at this time last season, I desperately want them to share the court together. The only redeemable aspect of showcasing Irving would be KD taking a swing at him. Hold on… The prospect of a brawl breaking out at the All-Star game melted my brain, so let me scoop it back in there.

Do the captains have to pick him in the first eight selections because he’s a starter? LeBron James and Giannis Antetokuonmpo should all agree to make him the last pick, and see if he’ll just fucking leave over the disrespect.

You want respect, Kyrie?! RESPECT DEEZ NU—. We regret to interrupt but due to the graphic nature of the kicker, it has been cut short. Thank you for reading. Have a good day.

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