The NBA All-Star Game is an honor bestowed upon the most distinguished hoopers every season. Unfortunately, that’s not what we’re doing here. Their time will come. However, the NBA’s worst rotation players deserve to receive their dead flowers too. Stare into this dark void with me and commemorate the NBA players who’ve been generating negative plays for their respective (or former) squads all season. These are the players fans wish their teams would load manage.
You won’t find the Udonis Haslems across the NBA on this list though because I’d like to visit South Beach again one day and no Thanasis Antetokounmpo because we aren’t here to mock reserves who could cook me al dente in any gym. This isn’t about ability.
Whether it’s effort, low basketball IQ, rigidness, or the passage of time, these Anti-All Stars, the All-Nosebleeds, All-Asteroid team, or whatever you prefer to refer to them is populated with the NBA’s least popular players. Some are genuinely here due to their low basketball IQs, while others are just held in low regard by fans. Let’s jump right into the Western Conference, first with the guards.
*Stats through Feb. 14.
Westbrook was a grenade with a loose pin dangling out during his one-and-a-half seasons in Los Angeles. His explosive athleticism always had the potential to turn inward and betray him, but that intensity rarely translated to the defensive end where his line drive field goal attempts were a vibe killer. He’s shooting a career-low from mid-range, and his corner-3 shooting efficiency has plummeted 17 percentage points. L.A. moved him to the bench unit hoping he’d have better luck against subs, but he’ll likely be bought out soon by Utah and head back to L.A., this time with the Clippers where he’ll replace the next point guard on our list.
The Denver Nuggets’ new bespectacled point guard might have the most fly eyewear in the league, but it begs the question: How well can he see the rim with those bifocals? Jackson started more regular season games than any other Clipper except Ivan Zubac since the Tyronn Lue era began, but would go on long benders where he couldn’t find the bottom of the net.
The downside is he’s been a weight around the Clippers’ necks offensively. He ranks 215th in FiveThirtyEight’s offensive RAPTOR score and the only reason he survived as the Clippers starter until the trade deadline is that John Wall was also a fellow All-Asteroid Team member.
He’s been misfiring away as recklessly as his dad when he opens his mouth this season, can’t finish on drives, building a dream home with his bricks, and fallen on hard times. He’s been more wince-inducing than the time Giannis Antetokounmpo leapfrog dunked over him.
Bones has been picked dry this season. Denver tried converting Hyland into a point guard. It didn’t work and once Jamal Murray was re-integrated into the lineup, he was essentially bounced from the rotation in favor of Bruce Brown. Hyland might be the first player in years who couldn’t fit in with Jokic since Jusuf Nurkic.
The former No. 1 overall pick has the physical tools to be the ideal NBA2K 23 user player, but his feel for the actual pro game is non-existent. He’s a negative defender who gets tunnel vision pounding leather, which leads to an assist-turnover ratio that’s 333rd in the league and a FiveThirtyEight RAPTOR score that ranks 229th in the Association. When he’s off the floor, Houston defends 8.8 points per 100 possessions better.
How badly has Nowell underperformed this season? Despite shooting 46 percent from 3-point range and 52.3 percent from the field since the calendar flipped to February, he’s still making fewer than 30 percent of his triples a night, a precipitous drop from a year ago when he was a near-40 percent shooter from distance and had the NBA’s lowest efficiency field goal percentage on unguarded jump shots through January. Defensive lineups featuring Nowell are basically at a 4-on-5 disadvantage.
Why did anyone think he’d make a difference on a contending Clippers team after Houston paid him to take permanent PTO all of last season? He was a whisper of his pre-injury self and he never developed a shot or a style that could survive what a ruptured Achilles took from him athletically.
Now to the frontcourt.
Up until he was traded to Minnesota, Malik Beasley was a pinpoint triggerman. But he’s become a one-dimensional specialist over the last two years and 2023 is his nadir. Beasley has the worst clutch field goal percentage among 82 players with at least 25 attempts. The Lakers hope LeBron James can unlock Beasley’s latent value.
When things aren’t going his way, Brooks slings more mud on the basketball court than anyone else in the league to gain an upper hand. He’s a serial offender perpetually walking the line between irritant and combatant. He’s the Grizzlies player who initially sparked a beef with Shannon Sharpe at Staples Center, he injured Gary Payton III in the postseason, and he slapped Donovan Mitchell in the nuts. Brooks has Draymond Green’s intensity, but he lacks the same nuanced versatility. Brooks is Memphis’ sharpshooter, but his antics, 39 percent shooting on 22 shots per game, and the lowest true shooting percentage of any player averaging at least 15 points per night make him a mole man propped up on an above-average team.
Wanna see a 3-and-D forward who doesn’t play defense or make his three-pointers consistently anymore? Look no further than Bullock whose minimal intensity on the defensive end is matched by a lack of ability to do anything other than chuck treys. You’d think he’d have more energy to expend on defense considering his limited usage on the offensive end, but that hasn’t been the case.
Winslow was one of the loose pieces of change New Orleans threw into the deal for Norman Powell and Robert Covington, which makes it even more unfathomable that Damian Lillard would want to stick around another minute. It’s hard to reconcile Winslow’s switchability on defense with his offensive ineffectiveness.
Bryant was a stretchy big, who put up flashy numbers in Anthony Davis’ absence. Unfortunately, he defended the paint like a scarecrow and repeated processing errors in the pick and roll becoming a target of offenses. When Bryant was on the floor, opposing teams averaged 126.7 points per 100 possessions. When he rested, the Lakers allowed 114.4. His shooting hand can get hot, but he’ll always be remembered as the reserve with the Bryant last name who always demanded the ball even when LeBron was about to make history If you could DH NBA players on defense, he’d be a fringe all-star.
Going 37-137 deserves something more recognition than a pink slip at the end of the season. The Rockets look rudderless and disheveled, and execute sets with the organization of a church league team.
