And now for the much more boring NHL trade deadline

The NBA can shift its entire axis in a trade deadline, or in free agency. The NFL is starting to put more jazz into both its deadline and offseason. MLB could if any owner wanted to actually spend money outside of Queens. The NHL certainly has its own free agency and trade deadline, and the latter approaches and arrives in two weeks. But rarely does it shake the Earth as its winter counterpart can.

There are various reasons for that. One, one player has a harder time shifting a team’s fortunes in hockey. You could transplant Connor McDavid over to a middling team like the NBA’s Phoenix Suns, — in this case, say the New York Islanders — and they would merely become a playoff team instead of a favorite, because McDavid is only on the ice for at most a third of the game. Two, NHL players simply don’t throw their weight around like their comrades in other sports and rarely ask out or demand to be moved. It’s just not in their DNA. for better or for worse. Thirdly, the hard cap makes mega-deals nearly impossible, as you’ll soon see. There aren’t exceptions, there isn’t a luxury tax, and GMs have to cram everyone into the room they have with no legs or helmets sticking out. Flexibility, it does not generate.

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t some interesting tales to be told around the March 3 landmark, and we’re here to tell them. So who are the boys for sale?

The Rangers got a headstart on things by striking first last week and picking up the first of what will probably be a fair number of St. Louis Blues properties put out on the lawn. Tarasenko asked out of St. Louis before last season, but showing how things work in hockey it took until now for him to get his wish. While Tank seems like he’s been dealing with injury hell for years as his shoulder turned into various flavors of pudding, he did put up 82 points last season.

He solidifies the Rangers’ top six, and keeps their kids Chytil, Kakko, and Lafrenière in sweetheart matchups on the third line. He also can beef up the second power play unit. He’s a pretty good fit with his ride-or-die Artemi Panarin, as he doesn’t need the puck all the time and can find space without it. It still doesn’t make the Rangers’ forward corps as beefy as the monsters in the Atlantic Division, but probably gets the Hurricanes’ knees knocking together in the Metro, given how Carolina finds a way to barf all over themselves in the playoffs anyway. 

He’s the shiniest (and in a lot of ways dirtiest) item on the shelf, assuming he acquiesces to being on the shelf. Neither Kane nor Jonathan Toews have actually waived their NTCs yet, and neither has made it clear that they’re going to. Kane was certainly aggrieved that the Rangers wouldn’t wait around for him, as not only was that a destination where he could get a deep playoff run again but he could also reunite with Panarin, alongside whom he produced perhaps his two most explosive seasons (including an MVP award).

The vibes around Kane were already bad for someone looking to kick his tires, as he’s had his worst season on an absolute clown car crash of a team that the Hawks are. Lately, whispers of him carrying a long-term hip injury have become really noisy, and any team looking at him as a deadline pickup might start to have questions about whether he can make it through a deep playoff run and how effective he’ll be if he does. He’s looked especially labored at times this season.

Still, it’s Patrick Kane, and hockey doesn’t care that he was once one of the world’s biggest pricks because he also has a trophy case that is overflowing. If he can fake his health for just a month or two, he’s a proven killer during the spring, and any team that could possibly hide him on the second line to get him better matchups (which the Hawks always did during their heyday) might still get a real weapon. 

Interested shoppers: Carolina, Colorado, New Jersey, Islanders, Vegas, Dallas, Minnesota

This has only popped up recently, but talks between the Oilers and Sharks have apparently heated up of late, and though it will nearly be impossible for them to make the money work, every hockey fan on Earth should be rooting for this. The most exciting forward and one of the most exciting d-men on the same team? This is hockey fan cocaine. The speed at which the Oilers could play needs a Navi-computer.

Karlsson is having a renaissance season, and would be the biggest impact player to move if he does. He’s a one-man breakout and can log half the game if need be, along with being able to do ridiculous shit like this:

The problem is that Karlsson still carries heavy paper, making $11.5 million for the next four seasons after this one. He’s utterly pointless on the Sharks, who aren’t going to be good for a long time, but they’ll probably need to eat half of that to make Karlsson available. And they may need to find a third team to eat half of that half, and maybe give that third team something to do so. Even with the ditch the Sharks are in, having dead money on the cap four years from now when they might be thinking about being watchable is an issue in the ironclad cap world of the NHL. Still, Karlsson is one of the rare game-shifters out there, and some team is going to do everything they can to try and make it work.

Interested shoppers: Edmonton, Los Angeles?

Funny how the Sharks have two of the biggest pieces at the deadline and yet still suck eggs. Hockey! Meier has been an absolute force the past two seasons, and is among the leaders in shots-on-goal and expected goals per 60 minutes among forwards. While Kane might get all the headlines, Meier is the best forward available at the deadline. This is a game-breaking forward that can be had.

Making him more attractive for teams is that he’s only headed into restricted free agency after this season, and he’s only 26. A team could get him and then probably still underpay him a touch to keep him long-term instead of doing an uncertain dance with unrestricted free agency. Meier will still get a raise, but on the open market, he’d probably be signing for eight figures. He won’t in restricted free agency. 

Interested shoppers: Carolina, Vegas, Minnesota, Boston

The Blues shouldn’t be done cleaning out the house before a demo job. Their window has closed underneath a torrent of Jordan Binnington temper tantrums, and the next great Blues team will be Jordan Kyrou’s and Robert Thomas’s.

O’Reilly is a former Conn Smythe winner, and could still be a really forceful #2 center for a team that needs one. O’Reilly’s production looks terrible, and some GMs will still be scared off by that -27 plus/minus he’s carrying around even though plus/minus has long ago been proven to be the batting average of hockey. No player has been hurt more by Binnington’s helplessness than O’Reilly, as the Blues have a .866 save percentage when he’s out there, and a 7.6 shooting percentage.

O’Reilly’s bruising style of play probably means he’ll decompose pretty quickly, but we’re not there yet, and he’s built for playoff hockey. A team like Colorado that’s been screaming out for a No. 2 center could do a lot worse. 

Interested shoppers: Colorado, Dallas