The year’s CFP selection process is an omen of things to come

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For those of you who think the decision facing the College Football Playoff committee is proof that expansion is needed, this is only a taste. Regardless of who gets left out of the final four, it’s going to be hilarious. Anytime you get to laugh at Alabama, Texas, or Florida State, it’s a pleasure. When you factor in that the Seminoles are all but guaranteed a spot even after third-string QB Brock Glenn threw for just 55 yards in the ACC title game, my sides are splitting.

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There were a couple of potential outcomes on championship Saturday that would’ve given the overlords a stress-free path to picking four teams. That didn’t happen, and now Paul Finebaum might get himself arrested outside CFP headquarters, Jan. 6 style. I can’t wait for Texas to steal the SEC’s spot a year before joining the conference on a bunch of cold shoulders.

Longhorn coach Steve Sarkisian is out here campaigning like a 12-year-old who just inhaled 13 balloons. Nick Saban will all but get down on all fours and beg for mercy from the CFP committee before it’s all over. Grovel, grown men, grovel!

That’s not even mentioning Ohio State and Georgia, who each lost by one score to teams currently ahead of them in the pecking order. Kirby Smart, visor and all, has no chance of defending his national championship. The Bulldogs slip up once, and any chance of a three-peat is immediately revoked like so many UGA players’ drivers’ licenses.

The Longhorns, who have yet to make a CFP, might be able to sneak into a future 12-team lineup, but this season is as close as they’re going to a national title. From here on out, it’s Texas versus a bunch of programs who really aren’t messing around, so UT better hope to get a spot.

For the Crimson Tide, it’s just nice to see Saban in PR crisis mode. If I’m being honest, the SEC deserves two teams in the CFP as much as most other conference deserve one participant. The possibility that the marquee conference could get shut out altogether makes me smile.

While it’s a longshot that the Seminoles get left behind, Mike Norvell is asking to be laughed at. Please ensure that your quarterback, whoever he may be, is ready to get decapitated by Michigan or Washington.

There are going to be so many precedents set by the 2023 selection committee alone that the 12-team crapshoots are going to incite a riot. We were waiting all year for the field to set itself, but that didn’t happen, and now the committee has to piss off somebody.

I cannot wait until these morons have to do that every year, only to more fanbases. Please, do away with conference title games, and make the committee weigh resumés like some EOE. Christmas came early, and brought with it the ghost of college football future. If I thought penance, or 50 rosaries could help, I’d say go with that.

Actually, let’s do that. Pray to god for a sign, committee. It will be just as arbitrary as the actual logic they apply to this process.

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